Wednesday, June 11, 2014

What was that? Cars that have eluded time

Is that some kind of Camaro or something?
Do you ever get that sort of response from somebody who sees your car and they have no idea what it is? There have been a few cars that, unless you are a total car nut, or otherwise know that particular car, have been a fad of the day, or otherwise. This list could go on for a book’s length, but that’s not the point of a blog.
1. Volkswagen Phaeton
This large car completely flopped after its first full year of production for the 2004 model year. Put together with a few parts from the VW and Audi parts bins, and air suspension from Bentley, the Phaeton should have been re-engineered or scrapped from the very beginning. Big German cars are always the right size, have tons of power, aren’t largely overweight, and the Phaeton (pronounced PHAY-tun) was all of those. Using a stretched Audi A8L frame and using heavy layers of steel instead of the mixture of parts the big Audi used, Phaeton was expensive, even for a VW, with pricing surpassing a cool $90,000, fuel economy poor, acceleration rather slow, unless opted with the rare W12 option line, which included a heavy W-12 engine (a 12 cylinder put together in a “W’ configuration, so not a “V,” just for the sake of being different), VW’s poor dealer network, and according to one source: poorly trained technicians that could do little more than change the oil. Parts had be flown in from Germany and some were only available from Bentley, such as the air suspension, so parts pricing were equally outrageous. It was bloated and styled much like the Passat at the time, just bigger, just wrongly proportioned. Owners liked the cars since they knew they were basically a cheaper knock-off of a Bentley, but few others took notice. Less than 100 cars were sold throughout the car’s last year of 2006. Surprisingly, the company insists that the company can sell them here in the thousands, a lofty bet since the Audi A8 barely does that here in the States. Car and Driver reported that VW insists the car will be available for the US market again, although this is now 2014 and nothing has been said for over 2 years about it.
2. Lexus HS250h
The HS250 wasn’t a bad car at all. It was just small, had a brittle ride, and very average gas mileage numbers, which are critical for a hybrid to do well in the states. Rather unfortunate, because the HS250h’s EPA numbers were only slightly better than a run of the mill Toyota Corolla of the time (the Corolla got around 25/33 city/highway mpg). Unlike the more stylish Lexus hybrid, the CT200h, the HS looked almost exactly like the Lexus treatment done to a--you guessed it--Corolla, again. See a pattern here? Buyers apparently did too, and Lexus pulled the plug after barely more than a year.
3. Chevrolet SSR

Remember the El Camino? Kind of a smart idea using the bed from a truck and the frame from a car, and a proven Chevy small block engine? Well, Chevy tried the idea again back in 2003, of which they killed the venerable, long-running Camaro/Firebird twins (still a little angry about, no matter they make the ugly current Camaro)for, and used the development money for a “Super Sport Roadster” (yes, that’s what this enigmatic name stands for). The clearest example of what truck buyers did not--and do not--want in a truck: is a bed that is not usable, regular cab only, very little ability to tow and haul, and awful, scientifically mutated front design that looked like something stolen from Area 51 and mated with a short bed Silverado, the truck was put on the market for nearly 5 years, and once again probably an example of what put General Motors into their 2009 bankruptcy. Don’t do it ever again GM, because truck buyers want a truck, not something from science fiction.

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