The Results of a bar fight between a GI and a German Soldier

May 24, 2014

What happens when a Yankee GI gets into a bar fight with a German soldat? A hypothetical comparison between the now-defunct Hummer H1 (2004 model just for kicks), and the partially hand built Mercedes-Benz G-class G550 (or, as they call it in Germany: Gelandewagen. There really should be an amulet over the “a” in the name, but unfortunately Google Docs won’t let me do it today. Curses to you, owners of Panera’s Internet modem, as well as to the sometimes glitchy programming of Internet sourced documents!

Ok, vent over. I am more than happy to write this one today. I thought of what could be a great article.

Ever wonder what would happen if an American GI got into a bar fight with a German soldat? I have. Turns out, America and Germany have once car in common: small dedication to military vehicles. No, I am not talking about the Jeep, Jeeps don’t cut into the niche I’m talking about. They’re also not tough enough. Behold, the now-defunct Hummer H1 representing the American side. Weighing in at nearly 7000 lbs. and totally retired from civilian duty since 2006, the H1 represents the amazing go-anywhere capability of military vehicles, as well as the hard-as-nails tough attitude of the American military, and so on and so forth. It also can ford water, and approach and descend very steep angles. The list goes on, and we’re going to compare it to the other tough military-based vehicle out there, still in production for American shores to boot: The Mercedes G-class, specifically the “base” V8-powered G550.

Powertrain/performance

First, let’s take a look at what’s under the hood. Hummer H1s pretty much had one engine: the 6.5-liter turbodiesel V8, yielding just 205 horsepower for the final consistent model year (2004). Hummer rated its torque at a robust 430 pound feet. The German’s choice of engine? The 382-horsepower 5-and-a-half liter V8, only powered by gasoline, of course. A heavy breathing engine, 32 valves yields a wide torque curve for it, with 391 pound feet from here to eternity. It was shared with other previous M-B cars and SUVs. Transmissions? Hummer made due with a four-speed automatic. The G has rocked a luxurious 7-speed for several years now. The G also boasts sprightly acceleration. Advantage:  Mercedes-Benz

Off-roading ability

 The distinction here is quite blurry, since both Hummer and the G can approach and descend steep angles, ford over 3 feet of water, and probably get bogged down in a mud pit. Most G-class users would think twice about taking their rig anywhere off the road, so unless Four Wheeler gets their hands on these massive rigs, you can’t tell with this one. Advantage: A draw

Fuel economy

The US government has not required cars to be rated for their gas mileage over a certain vehicle weight rating. They have never really disclosed why, but that it how it is. Many estimate between 8 and 10 mpg overall. However, the G wagon’s numbers are in: for regular G550 trucks, 12 city, and 15 mpg highway. Advantage: Mercedes-Benz, although unofficially

Marketing image

Like I said before, the H1 marketed a tough-guy image during its time. Some famous celebrities such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, were known to own them. Schwarzenegger actually purchased a small fleet of them back in the ‘90s. It shows that you drive the biggest American vehicle on the road, and you unabashedly want to let everyone know that you do. It is certainly a luxury item although not from a luxury maker.

There have been many jokes that folks who buy the Mercedes G-wagon only pay with cash for fear of being tracked by the IRS (due to illicit money making means). Supposedly, some bosses of gang members drive them, so some people who see the G-class roll often joke that it’s “gangbangers’ car.” There will not be a clear advantage here, as whatever you want to be viewed as will determine the wining choice here.

Verdict?

The Hummer unfortunately has no clear winnings in this case. Although it is rich in torque and can go anywhere, it was slow, even for a big diesel, and not much heavier than the Mercedes. It is probably hard to park, and very certainly not for sale anymore, but however you can find H1s used for the price of a brand new Mercedes E-class, or sometimes less. The G really excelled in every hypothetical category I could do, without real-world experience. So unofficially, the winner here is the Mercedes-Benz G550. Long live the German soldat, as he beat the Yankee unconscious in this fight.

Is More really Less? A lesson from Mercedes-Benz

Is More really Less?

Automobile Magazine did an article recently (Automobile, April 2014), in which writer Georg Kacher explained that more luxury car is significantly less substance than less luxury car. Specifically, supersize luxury cars such as the popular Mercedes S-class, Audi A8, and Jaguar XJ offer supercar specs in their top tier trim lines in their performance packages. Mercedes has offered AMG, Jaguar the R, and Audi Sport (or “S,” for short) in many of their car offerings.

Few realize that many of today’s luxury cars offer supercar horsepower and torque numbers as well as mind-numbing acceleration, but they are seen as too “prestigious” for many to notice them.  Most interesting is that a base S550 (449 in the new model) in the US really offers more horsepower than a Ford Mustang (420) or even a Chevy Camaro (426 w/manual). The AMG offers an unreal 577 hp in the highly optioned S63 AMG (nearly $140,000). Anyway, the point that Kacher made that although there was a comparison test between 3 cars to see which was best, they decided there was no winner because none of offer any more car than windmills of engines, but nothing to make the cars feel “special.” The S63 feels like a regular S-class with faster shifting and more livid acceleration. The S8 feels the same, almost like a rip-off of a Bentley really and the XJR (the faster version of an already fast luxury cat), well, it would be redundant to go there, wouldn't it?

Anyway, I am definitely agreeing with what Kacher wrote about. I would like to expand a little, and go as far as to say what with the exceptions of Bentley’s and Rolls-Royce cars, pretty much any car above $50 grand in the new car world is pretty much either worthless or a pretty poor value. There, I said it. Yes, the occasional $56,000 Chevy is a lot of fun (See: Camaro ZL1. See: 2013 Shelby Mustang GT500.) and would be amazing to take to the long highways of Texas or the Nurburgring racetrack, but other than that and the fire-breathing Shelby Mustang, the return on in investment for a car goes downhill. Yes, I mean all those six-figure  S-classes on the road today, which in terms of luxury features, is little more than a stretched E-class with a slightly more egotistical driver. Add the V8 to the E’s option list, and presto!-instant S-class, minus some legroom, and around $30,000 less than the cost of an S. Okay, case in point: 2014 middle-size E550, which has the compact twin-turbo V8, the same engine from the regular S-class, with many of the same safety technologies from the S, is only $62,000. The hulking S has started at more than $90,000 for nearly a decade. Other than legroom, what’s the real difference here? Certainly not fun, because I am not seeing any more prestige, panache, or noticeable differences between middle E and the pricey S. Do you?

Acura no longer to get bullied in the automotive locker room...

Thanks again for checking this out and. Chances are you if you have talked to me about cars lately, I have been negative about the dated looking designs or the crappy drive and such of how today’s cars are on the road, on the inside, or how they steer, etc. Yes, you may have been thinking, it’s that whole shabang again. Many have seen my previous post, which somehow scored over 100 page views.

Well, not anymore. Not quite, at least. They are not all garbage, not in the near future. The whole point of this rambling and, at least among those who like Japanese brands that are pseudo-American, Acura. Yes, Acura. Opened in 1986 as Honda’s only automotive offshoot branch not offered in other countries (here in North America and not anywhere else, that is), the brand has had some ups and downs, some hits and some forgettable misses (Acura ZDX anyone?). Nowadays, they are usually silver or white, midsize, and have a Honda engine underhood.  And very Honda-looking, which normally didn’t scare anybody off. Well, it looks like they are spicing that formula up, as they are releasing their 4th new model in two years, the new TLX.

TLX will be big news for Acura, as the outgoing TL was its longest running cars, even longer than the popular MDX crossover. This will be the first time the old car has been updated since its 2009 redesign, and technology-wise, its all uphill from here. Both TL and TSX are out, as TSX has not been as popular as they hoped.

Acura is hoping for a huge hit, as they have imported some of the tech from RLX, but with a German competition in mind. Now sporting as many gears as BMW and Audi, the base car will be powered by a 4 cylinder engine (think TSX) coupled to a new 8-speed twin clutch automatic transmission, a first right now for any car brand (Bimmer and Audi both have 8-speeds, but are not dual clutch). Optional is the familiar 3.5-liter V-6 (think TL) with a 9-speed automatic transmission (no dual clutch here). This beats the Germans, Americans, Japanese and the Swedish, and whatever other country you can think of, because this is it. 

Welcome to Shiftville, to you all who drive Acuras.

Gas mileage is expected to fly for all models, due to the gearing, and all are available with all wheel drive, now a permanent staple in luxury car dealer lots. Acceleration will be a cinch, with instant torque, power, traction, and a host of computers on board  easily clear 6-something zero to 60 mph time, ranging from 6 or so (4 cylinder/dual clutch) to as possibly as low as 5 seconds for the big V-6 (with 9-speed). The old 2.4 has been replaced with direct injection, and the thirsty 3.7-liter engine is out as well, for now.

Look out, America and Europe, because Acura is not bringing a knife to a gunfight, they may well have a “gun” now, and from the looks of it, it has magnum rounds.

In Search of the Fountain of Youth: What happened to fun cars?

Hello there Facebook and Blogger world. So, it has been occurring to me that the car industry is not really interested in making cars for the small crowd like me. A few cases in close: Back in 2003, Infiniti as well as some other Japanese manufacturers made interesting, driver focused cars with manual trannies with optional automatic transmission.  

Take for example the Q50, which started out as the Infiniti G35 sedan and coveted Motor Trend 2003 Car of the Year G35 coupe. The coupe was available with standard V-6 power, a 6-speed manual, rear or all wheel drive, great shifting action, decent in the snow, and great acceleration. 
This car has evolved into the Q50, which in turn is NO longer available with any kind of manual; the closest you can get here in the States is the standard 7 speed auto with paddle shifters on the S package. It also handles much worse than the G35 did. No driving excitement there, except for the Q’s still relatively frivolous acceleration, clocking in at around 5 seconds to sixty. Techie, yes, but is that what Infiniti customers really want? What happened to the lesser expensive, manual transmission car that we had for those precious few years? At least make a manual a cost, stripper based option, and give it another gear or two (8

speed manual anyone?). If Porsche can do it for the 911 for everyone else, why won’t Infiniti do it here?

I can’t explain it.

Also, back in 2011, Mazda announced the end of the most unique car of the 21^st century. The RX-8 was quirky, practical, idiosyncratic, quick, weak on torque, had kind of a loud exhaust, and very much a driver’s car for the everyday world. 

Not a car for "Everyman," and not a car for those low on common sense (see any RX-8 user forum online, and you will see) it was. It was also fast however, very fast for a car with 240 horsepower and ~150 pound feet of torque. It looked great too. Mazda executives talked about a replacement, but development of the mass market CX-5 took center stage instead, as well as the company’s all new 3 and 6 sedans. We can still hear you spin in your grave, you dirty little Rotary engine. With smart engineering and head-turner looks, it could again be a world-class sports car. That was 3 years ago, and nothing out of Mazda factories has replaced it.

Honda had the S2000 for a whole decade, and its performance was even better than the wonderful RX-8 at the time with its incredible performance numbers and crazy top speed, nailing the 150 mph barrier even for the smaller 2-liter engine without the use of any forced induction. OK, that’s nice you may say, but here’s the catch. When you see one on the road, it looks futuristic. It doesn’t look or sounds like a Honda. It doesn't drive anything like an Accord or Civic or whatnot. No, rather it is just a purpose-driven 150 mph missile of a sports car. 

I loved it, as well as current Honda enthusiasts. 

It was and is a marvel of engineering, and if it was updated a bit with a new design and some new nuts and bolts, then it could be a real gem. Add some good looks to the package, or at least a unique brand of Honda design language, and presto—you have a successful, global sporty car. Toyota had the old MR2 as well as the stylish Celica, Chevrolet the Camaro, then nothing, then the Camaro again, Pontiac brought back the GTO, Chrysler had the Crossfire, Dodge had the Magnum, Acura had the RSX sport coupe, et cetera. There has been a death of artful looking cars. 

Except for a Porsche or maybe the new Subaru BRZ/Scion FR-S twins, and the current gen Honda CR-Z, there are really no artfully styled cars on the market right now that scream ‘look at me.’  Those cars I mentioned all looked interesting and had power and driving finesse to back them up. Japan was responsible for many of them, which is where Infiniti comes from, and they appear to feel that American customers don’t need any cake, don’t want cake, or second helping of good looking cars. Yes, the Ford Fusion looks good, but it does not really do anything the old car didn't. 

There is what I call an overall aura of “boring-ness” in development studios right now. Cars look the same. They pretty much are the same. How does anything from Cadillac right now look any different than current Hyundais and Kias? 

Yes, I just said it, it doesn't. Hyundai and Kia have really been trying too hard with their current, over styled, cross-eyed design language that is the bone I most want to throw. I could go on, but the gist has been made: Detroit and Japan seem to be happy exclusively building cars for the masses, and no more limited edition cars for the few who love cars the most. 

Last Hurrah--A Base Hit, or hitting one out of the park?

A Quick Drive in a 2014 Ridgeline SE.
McMurray, PA
I recently got to spend some time in one of the more unique Honda cars--or any car, for that matter--on the market today. Honda announced this past fall that they would be making a Special Edition of this year's Ridgeline truck. I call it a "Last Hurrah" or in football terms a "Hail Mary," since the truck never really caught on with American buyers. To back that up, just 17,723 Ridgeline trucks left dealer lots last year, which for the most part has been falling since the truck's 2006 launch, according to goodcarbadcar.net. Not a very convincing number, if you place that next to a sales champ like the Accord, which sells itself well over 300,000 units every year.
Anyway, I put a few miles on it for a road test on the road and in the street, and felt this Last Hurrah Truck deserved an article about it, since Honda also announced it will be going out of production for a little while, until it unveils a bigger, more capable and hopefully more powerful one in the coming years.
Looking at it, it still feels like an over sized Pilot that mated with something from Frigidaire, and I guess the Ridgey was the lovechild from this, with some genes elsewhere along the line too. Honda has always been about innovative solutions to the problems of the car business, but even 8 years after its launch, it still looks goofy, or funky, or almost stylish, or something. Imagine a jacked up Kia Soul, without the dancing hampsters, or the hype, or the young demographic surrounding the Soul, made into a stretch limo, but without the full bar, or any alcohol, or chauffeur, or anything that would really make you think of a limousine 'cept the size of it. No, we have to remember it really is a leather-wrapped, kind of 4x4 capable car-based truck, not a Raptor, not an HD or a Ram or whatever you think of when the word "truck" comes to mind. And no, a manly diesel isn't available either. No, it is the Ridgeline SE, in its loaded SE glory, sporting the fancy 6 spoke wheels from the current Touring trim from the Pilot, standard light colored leather seats, still using the In-Bed Trunk, composite bed, ya da, ya da. It may not be exquisite or dirty or especially "manly," but is still the neighborhood friendly (read: harmless) truck that you probably either forgot about or never heard of in the first same place. 

This cult vehicle, like all of Honda's often cars and SUVs that draw up a caricature, sports a--you guessed it--VTEC powered engine, just like everything else in the stable that Honda has made since the early 2000s. I won't annihilate everyone's mind with unnecessary specs or numbers or outputs and the like, because I could do that. Nope, its a V6 that makes less power than most of today's competition, if you could call them that (just don't call them "colleagues"). No, it drives about the same as any Honda van or Pilot or anything does or would or probably will ever have. Nothing exciting there, not even a manual mode for the tranny. Oh well.

I could go on about how it drives, how its not really nimble and how the steering doesn't feel like anything, and how it seems to have the words "vanilla" inscribed on the truck's under carriage, but I'll rather end my article about my brief drive in what will hopefully be an efficient, powerful, torquey, diesel (hey, a kid can dream, right?) and almost definitely automatic trucks of the future. Ford has been looking into the gazing ball for a while now, and its Super Duty hits the mark with its capability and future lightweight F-150 full sizers, but Honda has been just fine with a "just fine" hauler, but who knows? Maybe all this time they have been scheming to take over the truck market with a swing that could one day hit the ball out of the park.

8-Jan-2014